Solo travel. Female solo travel. Something I’ve never considered doing before, until (maybe) now. I’ve been thinking about it a LOT recently. This post is where I spill my current thoughts on solo travel, so get comfy and have a read!
Throughout my life, I’ve always travelled with partners, friends or family. The first time I ever flew by myself was on New Year’s Eve in 2017, when I travelled from London to Munich. I was aged 27 and I was met at my destination, so didn’t spend any of the trip alone. Despite having travelled on hundreds of flights in the past, it was still a slightly nerve-wracking experience going through all the steps by myself.
Since then, I’ve flown that same route alone again and have also flown to Dubai and back alone. Those times too I was met at my destination airport by people I knew and who I would then be spending time with.
That’s it. In all my 31 years and hundreds of trips, that’s the extent of my solo travel experience.
So Why Am I Considering Solo Travel Now?
Many reasons.
As I write this, we’re a year and a half into a pandemic and therefore I’m desperate for any travel! I’m also single and a lot of my friends who I would have previously travelled with are at totally different stages of life to me, so they’re not in the position to drop things and fly across the world. My pool of possible travel companions is now pretty small, but my desire to keep travelling far and wide is increasing.
Cue the last few weeks and my thoughts, therefore, on the option of solo travel.
Historically, society has told us that by our thirties, we should be either settled down or aiming to settle down soon. In recent years, lots and lots of people are rebelling against that expectation and living life at the pace they want to live it. Which is exactly the way it should be.
I definitely expected that at this point I’d be a lot more settled than I am. It’s not necessarily something I wanted as such, but that’s social conditioning for you. Maybe I’ll want that one day, but right now I have a wandering spirit in me.
Sure, I’ve lived in the same flat in London for four years and have been working full time almost solidly for over 12 years. Some might say “well that is settled”. To me though, as someone who’s been fighting wanderlust for YEARS with the conditioned mindset of “must earn good, constant money”, I don’t feel settled, I feel like I’m settling.
Big difference.
What Life Do I Want?
I’m living a privileged life that I’m sure so many would love to be living. I earn a reasonably decent wage, don’t have anyone relying on me financially and am totally debt-free. Quitting university after 3 months when I was 18 helped with that bit! I also live in one of the most iconic cities in the world and have access to build whatever kind of life I want to if I put my mind to it.
And the life I want is to be travelling as much as possible. I don’t yet know if I want to be travelling full-time or for an extended period. But, the flexibility to travel for a couple of months at a time here and there would be amazing. Over the past year especially, I’ve come into a lot more clarity in my mind about not wanting this 9 to 5, living-for-the-weekend lifestyle.
There are also so many inspiring women out there taking on solo travel, some of whom have been living that life for years and years! A lot of my current thoughts on solo travel are drawing courage and inspiration from the idea that if they can do it, why can’t I?!
Solo Travel Anxiety
If you haven’t worked it out by now, pretty much my only option to live the travelling lifestyle I want to live is to go solo. Of course, I could book onto group tours (more on that later!). But, something in my gut is telling me I need to start with solo travel.
Now if you know me really well in real life, you may be reading this and thinking I’ve had a personality transplant. Growing up, my school reports consistently presented me as a shy and quiet child. Sure, initially I was a VERY shy child (like hide behind my mum’s leg shy!). But then it stopped being shyness and I just settled into someone who was quiet.
I’ve always hated being centre of attention and I could never ever be accused of being “the loud one”. For the most part I’m confident in myself, but I usually only pipe up if I actually have something to say that I deem to be of value. Otherwise, I sit back and take in the conversation going on around me.
Fellow introverts, where are ya? I know it’s not just me that’s like that, but it can make for tricky group scenarios when you just can’t compete with the louder, more outspoken members. Small groups of a couple of people are ideal, large groups are very sub-ideal (to me)!
A few years ago I suffered from social anxiety and it would take a lot for me to get psyched up to go out and socialise with a group of people. I’d say 99% of the people that know me won’t know this, as I think (??) I hid it quite well.
That anxiety has largely gone for the most part, but I still get the occasional bout whereby even a solo trip to the supermarket takes some psyching up. Sounds crazy, right? Unless you too have suffered with this. In which case, I feel you; it’s not fun.
So, when you suffer the occasional anxiety ridden day and can’t even make it to the supermarket, should you really go solo travelling?! My response for most of my life would have been “pah! Absolutely ridiculous idea!”. But I’ve lately come to the realisation that I. NEED. TO. CHANGE. SOMETHING. Unless I step out of my comfort zone and take the plunge, nothing will ever change and my dreams of a travelling lifestyle will never come into fruition.
Why Not Take A Group Trip?
Good question. I’m not completely opposed to the idea and am keen to push myself to go on one at some point. But, I feel as though solo travel is something I need to do to REALLY push myself. Get totally out of my comfort zone and be forced to interact with strangers. In terms of spending time alone, I actually really enjoy my own company. The thought of sitting in a restaurant alone though, surrounded by couples, families and friend groups fills me with dread. That’s another ball game entirely.
It’s probably the bit I’m the most anxious for, truth be told.
To truly make a change and become the person you want to become though you have to push the boundaries. Not just step outside your comfort zone, but leap out. A bit like a skydive, which ironically, I’ve done and LOVED!
The craziest thing I’ve done was quitting my job at age 24 and head to the South Pacific islands on a one-way flight. But I was with my then boyfriend and we’d planned to be away for anything up to a year, so quitting a job didn’t seem a big deal. Turns out we spent our money a LOT quicker than we thought and were home after three months. Jobless. It took six months to get another one, but I got one in the end – and a much better paid one at that!
So, I’m not averse to taking a bit of a risk but I’ve never taken a risk alone. Never made that decision alone.
That’s why my first step to change needs to be ALONE. Exactly what I’ve never done before.
On a group tour you’ve got the safety and comfort of the guide and other travellers (although as you’ve read above, for me that would come with its own challenges…). On your own you’re the only one in charge, you have to make all the decisions and you have to suck it up and interact with people.
So Will I Take The Leap?
Who knows. That’s the honest answer. I’d like to shout “YES!”, but I’m not completely there yet. This post contains my current thoughts on solo travel spilling out onto the page and into the wilderness of the internet. Putting it out into the universe as a “this is where I’m at right now”.
Watch this space – if I do take the solo travel leap I’ll document it all here and on my social media accounts!
Let me know if you’ve travelled solo and what your thoughts on solo travel are! Or if you haven’t done it, why not? Let’s open up the solo travel conversation in the comments; I’m really keen to hear all about your thoughts and experiences!
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